(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)

Stop trying to ‘get it together’. The biggest lie we’re told when we’re growing up is that soon as we’re adults, as soon as we’re in college, finish college, get that job, have that steady income, find that someone special, ‘find ourselves’, find that perfect house, get that retirement fund, have those children, everything will fall into place. Here’s a secret: it won’t. Every new development in your life, good or bad, big or small, will come with its own very special set of challenges. The sooner you accept that, the better off you’ll be.

~ Unknown (via conflictingheart)

(Source: onlinecounsellingcollege)

tags → #Quotes #Wise words 

officialdogblog:

procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due

(Source: circumcisions)

cosmicbadarsery:

tryingtofindthegreatperhaps:

bronzedragon:

tomfelton-andthe-cumber-cocks:

strawberriesandjane:

funsizedfox:

“they won’t let me eat,wont let me sleep..”
“who?”
“…..them.”

Oh.

I AM CRYING

I remember reading about how EA was trying to sell the rights to make The Sims into a movie and everyone was like “…how?”
Now I get it
It’s a horror movie
People wake up one day to find themselves transformed into puppets of an invisible malicious trickster god
First the bizarre happenings start:
someone becomes obsessed with stealing lawn gnomes
another person has a compulsion to stick their head into a strange device and emerges obsessed by grilled cheese sandwiches
people pee themselves despite being next to a bathroom because some mysterious unseen force makes them study cleaning
people find themselves stuck in rooms because they can’t step over common household objects
a young man doing some nighttime stargazing mysteriously vanishes
then their god turns sadistic
pool ladders mysteriously vanish, leading to several drownings
doors vanish just as a house fire begins
an elevator plummets several stories as a couple starts to get it on
a Murphy Bed gruesomely folds up, crushing the people inside
and that man who vanished while stargazing returns…but with something growing inside of him…and vague memories of a grotesque creature named Pollination Technician
the horror has begun

YESYESYESYES

This makes me uncomfortable…
ronweasley:

the way it should be, famous songs from animated movies performed in the language of the place the stories are set in or the character’s mother tongue {listen}

i. hellfire (the hunchback of notre dame) - french; ii. once upon a december (anastasia) - russian; iii. a whole new world (aladdin) - arabic; iv. bare necessities (the jungle book) - hindi; v. i see the light (tangled) - german; vi. can you feel the love tonight? (the lion king) - zulu; vii. i’ve got no strings (pinocchio) - italian; viii. i won’t say i’m in love (hercules) - greek; ix. it’s tough to be a god (the road to el dorado) - spanish; x. under the sea (the little mermaid) - danish; xi. i’ll make a man out of you (mulan) - mandarin; xii. when you believe (the prince of egypt) - hebrew
tags → #Soundtracks 
continueplease:

nbcnews:

Teen’s invention could charge your phone in 20 seconds
(Photo: Intel)
Waiting hours for a cellphone to charge may become a thing of the past, thanks to an 18-year-old high-school student’s invention. She won a $50,000 prize Friday at an international science fair for creating an energy storage device that can be fully juiced in 20 to 30 seconds.
Read the complete story.

Everybody, remember this face.Remember this name.If this becomes a commonly used & highly lauded discovery, at some point a White guy is going to take credit, even if he has to word it like “Improved upon a previous…”No no noFuck that guy.Remember this brown girl.Remeeeemmmmmberrrrr

drayk:

jikukan:

I’M LAHUGING SO HARD AT THIS

image

SHE DOESN’T EVEN JUMP SHE JUST LIFTS OFF THE GROUND 

image

(Source: kusakaryuuji)

diagondaley:

buttgenie:

i hate when a teacher is genuinely funny and i’m the only one in the entire classroom that laughs at their jokes since everybody i go to school with are distasteful heathens

#especially those sarcastic witty teachers who have amazing comebacks but everyone is fucking moronic and not intelligent enough to understand the beauty of what theyre saying and i get so upset

manatopia.org